Is this really happening?

This has definitely been a week I will never forget... Did that last sentence leave a little to be desired? Well, allow me to explain.

When my mother was very young before she met my father, she met a man that she fell in love with, wanted to stay with him but it didn't work out. And she ended up getting pregnant. She was so young and unwed and only wanted the best for her baby boy, and knowing that she could not provide for him, she placed him up for adoption with a few stipulations, that she would only give him up to a family that was LDS and could afford to give him the things she could not.

Flash forward 37 years later to my birthday. She got a phone call that would change all of our lives. A woman called her and asked her if she was the woman who placed that baby boy up for adoption and she told my mom that he has been looking for her for so long.
His name is Scott, and the woman who called is his wife, Charlotte.

My mom never told any of us, not even my father that she had had another son whom she placed for adoption. And I like to think of myself as an understanding person, and so I do understand her reason for going about it the way that she did. So it came as a complete shock when she told me earlier this week. I remember when she told me, my knees felt like they were about to fold right underneath me. I just started crying and saying 'what?'

I just want to make things clear here before I continue with my post. I am not angry at all about this new revelation, or with my mother. On the contrary, I am very excited to meet him and his wife and children. I do wish, however, that my mom would have told me. But there is nothing any of us can do about it now. She felt like she had done the best thing for all of us at the time, and how can I judge her for that? I can't. No one can. I can't change it, but I can accept it, and move forward.

I think I am still in a state of shock about it. Up until this point, my life was always been a certain way. I had already begun the process of accepting the fact that my sister Alycia and Brother Anthony had died, and I would never see them in this life and it would only ever be my only living sister and I (a grim prospect at times :) hee hee j/k) So it's a huge life altering thing that has just happened.

Obviously I cannot for tell the future so I have no idea what will come of all of this. But I have an open mind and heart, and I really am excited to meet him. Tomorrow is the big day. He and his family are coming down to meet us and our whole crazy family. Wow, I really am still in shock! My mind is still having trouble processing it all. Is this really happening? Do I really have a long lost brother? I have so many questions. What's he like? What sort of things does he like? What does his voice sound like? Will he like us? Will his family like us? How do they feel about this? I have a brother?!?!?! I've always wanted a big brother!

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I really hope he likes us.